unincluded

I can hear them talking – can hear almost nothing but. But if I try to join in, I’m ignored or brushed off. They’re sitting facing each other, kind of. I’m facing into a corner. I have the window, the view, and it helps with not feeling claustrophobic, but I’m starting to feel kind of unincluded.

I’m sure that if I was facing someone, I’d find their conversation annoying. But not having anyone who’ll include me makes it more obvious that I’m not same.

I was always aware of being different, at school and then at Uni. But now, in my first ‘proper’ job, when we’ve all come in at the same level – not knowing each other and not knowing the job – I seem to be realising more of my differences, and noticing more…

I don’t like being unincluded. But I am L