Thursday, 20 June 2013

Complaining About Complaining....

It is entirely not nice to sit and listen to people who complain non-stop. I know there’s irony in complaining about people who complain, but I need to say it. People who loudly complain about irrelevant things and things that can’t be changed… Irritating. {I’m actually complaining about two people in particular, and if you’re reading this blog (and I know you personally) you can be safe in the fact that it is not you!}
Trying to get attention by complaining is not attractive and it is actually quite repellent. Complaining in ways that make it obvious that you are ignorant, oblivious, or just plain rude, racist and sexist is something that will make you unpopular. People will not like you; you will get a reputation as a complainer. Don’t go on and on about things, and don’t complain when something doesn’t work the way that you thought it would work: if it doesn’t work the way that you thought it would work then you were wrong, the system isn’t wrong. And once you’ve made your point, Let It Go!!!
Why am I stressing this? Why am I sticking to this point when I literally just said you shouldn’t?
Because. Because I am recognising that I am guilty of doing this. I am not too proud to admit and own up to this. Sometimes I can’t help it. It seems that when I am around Hoppy I always have something to complain about.
But being around these people constantly has really opened my eyes. Yes, I knew Hoppy was annoyed by my complaining (and a lot of the time my attitude has been ‘if there’s a problem, he needs to know how I feel’, which I still think is quite true) but I didn’t realise how truly downright infuriating, nauseating it actually is.
I need to stop. I need to keep my complainy thoughts inside my own head. I do not want to be as repugnant to Hoppy as these people are to me L
Although I can see the not-complaining thing not working, I have to try it. I’ll probably end up with prolific blog rants because of it, but I need somewhere to vent.
*Be like the pebble in the stream; let the water flow around you. If it changes you, if it moves you, this is all a part of your journey. It was meant to be and eventually it will take you to the sea.*
~Hey, I am part mermaid after all; I couldn’t resist adding the sea to my Zen-ism {and yes, it is a slightly altered version of a line from a book. That is why I have called it a ‘Zen-ism’, my attempt at creating something meaningful, a way to try and get my mind to adjust and stop complaining damnit! I have no idea if it’s real or based on a real quote; it’s just how poetic my mind is feeling this morning.}
What does it mean? Like I said, it’s a Zen-ism. Its meaning is pretty obvious to me, but I’d better explain it just in case (no I don’t think my followers and readers are stupid, over-explaining things is one of the ways I cement them into my mind – and I do need to thoroughly cement things in my mind!). In fact, now that I look back on it – some 20 minutes after I thought it up and wrote it – I don’t even know if my pretty little Zen-ism fully applies to the situation… let’s see if I can make it work:
Um… yeah I think I was going for a “like water under the bridge” type thing. Don’t worry about it, don’t let it bother you or complain about it, it’s in the past already (everything that has happened is in the past, true fact) and you can’t change it. If an event, an action, anything, affects you in any way, it is affecting you in the ways that it was supposed to. Accept the changes, accept what has happened because it’s too late to stop it from happening now. If it’s affecting you {if I’m using the wrong affect/effect, I apologise, I’ve been agonising over it the entire time I’ve been writing this paragraph} in a negative way, or in a way that you don’t want to be effected, and this is an on-going thing (ie, something that is still affecting you), then do something about it. Don’t complain – unless complaining is going to help, but it probably won’t – do something positive to change the course of events if you can.
Umm… I guess that’s the sentiment I was going for. Complaining won’t help. If I need to vent, I have a specific tag in my blog to vent with, haha. I have to just try and carry this awesome Zen-ism with me in my mind and hold it steady in my heart.
~*~ I’ve gone quite poetic and deep this morning, I think this must have touched me more profoundly than I realised – but I suppose that every time a person realises, truly  realises, that an action they’ve been doing unthinkingly is this abhorrent, it will have a profound effect on them. And hopefully a lasting one. I want to change, I don’t want to be annoying, I want to be… well not “a joy to be around” which was the first thought that popped into my mind, but I want to be someone that at the very least Hoppy enjoys being around.
By the way, not wanting to change so that Hoppy/”a boy” will like me. Wanting to change because I want to be a better person.
·         Am I in pain? Maybe. Does everyone need to know that? No.
·         Is this confusing me? Possibly. Do I need to tell people? Well, yes I do if it’s something I need to understand, so this one was a bad example.
·         Am I irritated? Most likely. Who gives a damn? Not even me, so I should shut up!
Get the picture? I think I’m starting to.
I’ll trial the “be like a pebble” thing this weekend, when Hoppy’s down for the first time in five weeks. I’ll try to just shut up and not complain… I’ll let you know how it goes J


  1. You used the right 'affect'! Affect=verb, effect=noun.

  2. One of those verification code thingies on my last comment was 'vainbsc'. Now I'm trying to figure out which member of the babysitter's club is the most vain.

  3. Stacy.

    And I spent a good long time muttering "verb... noun... well this one means this, but that one means that..." and looking like a general lunatic. In the end, I just decided to try and pick one and stick with it.